Jealousy
by LittlePlumTree
Summary: When Sirius escapes his family and runs away to James', Remus can't help but feel a little jealous that he's being left out of the holiday fun. Will a week or two with the rest of the Marauders fix that? Surely it can't hurt.  Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Jealousy

**Chapter One**

Remus stared at the folded parchment in his hand, willing it to suddenly take the form of its sender so he needn't go another day longing to see him. It was the summer holidays, and Remus had not seen Sirius since the end of term, approximately two months ago. Of course, it had been just as long since he had seen Peter or James, but it was his Padfoot that he was missing the most.

Sighing, he unfolded the letter. This was better than nothing, but he still wished there was some way they could see each other, preferably sometime in the near future. Going into their 7th year, he was glad that after they all learned to Aparate, they needn't have this trouble again. Muggle transport was out of the question, living so far from each other, and besides his parents would probably not allow it. In his opinion, they were far too protective. Having a child with Lycanthropy could do that to people, Remus mused.

He unfolded the letter and started to read. As his gaze moved down the page, his expression turned from one of forlorn longing, to one of surprise and worry. His stomach flipped as he read the letter, and he tried to process what Sirius had written. His eyes flicked back to the top of the letter to re-read it. Sirius had run away from home. Sirius had basically been disowned by his own family. His Sirius.

He sat back in his desk chair, still trying to process it. He knew things were bad with Sirius and his family, but he hadn't known it would come to this. Of course, Sirius had always been contrary to the Black family. Being in Gryffindor when all the others were in Slytherin, his tendency to gravitate away from the dark arts instead of towards them, and…

Remus' heart skipped a beat. Had Sirius told his parents about him? Was he, Remus, the final straw for Sirius' disownment? He knew the Blacks would probably not take kindly to having a son, not only in Gryffindor, but also gay…

He bit his lip and tried to think rationally. Surely Sirius would have written it if that were the case. There was no mention of the reason, only a scrawled, _'I'd had enough of their poncy-ass ways and that damned house.'_

The only plus Remus could see was where Sirius was staying. He would be safe at James' house. He felt a twinge of jealousy that Sirius had run to James, not Remus, but then stopped it by reminding himself that James' house was by far closer, and that he should probably be more worried about Sirius at the moment, not his own feelings.

...

A week later, however, Remus was not feeling quite so amicable. Sirius almost daily letters contained recounts of James' and his latest adventures and funny stories, and Remus was feeling decidedly left out. As he unfolded the latest letter after sending the owl on its way, Remus had made up his mind. He was convincing his parents to let him visit James and Sirius if it was the last thing he did.

His eyes travelled down the page and rested on a sentence.

_Peter is down for a few days, and we've got lots planned. James' parents forbid us to do anything as extreme as the "almost stealing that motorbike incident" (which we didn't steal, we were just going to borrow it! Too bad the neighbours are night owls, if they went to bed at a sensible time, they wouldn't have even noticed it was gone!) _

Remus threw down the letter and tried to control the horrible flip-flopping in his stomach. He did not want to admit it, but there it was.

He was jealous.

It wasn't fair. He was Sirius boyfriend. He loved him more than chocolate, for heaven's sake, and here he was, left out of every little event taking place in his summer, being replaced with James and Peter.

After he paced his room five or six times, he started to calm down. His brain told him to stop being jealous and think about it rationally, so he listened to it for a few moments. It was true that they weren't deliberately not including him, and it was also true that it was his own fault he wasn't allowed to visit. Well, his and Fenrir Greyback's.

Then the jealous, love-sick side of him cut in, and without thinking any more about it he stormed out of his room.

…

Two hours later, Remus had a deal. He was allowed to visit James, Sirius and Peter for no more than two weeks, after the full moon in three days. It had taken him that long to get that much out of his concerned parents, but it was worth it. Two weeks was decidedly better than none, and he thanked Merlin he hadn't spilled the real reason for his eagerness to visit. He was sure they'd be understanding, but he wasn't sure if Sirius was quite ready to come out to "the authorities" as he joked.

Now all he had to do was write to James, then wait out the agonizingly slow days till the full moon was over.

He sat down at his desk and picked up a quill, and started to write. Once finished, he tied the letter to the leg of his owl and let it fly out the open window. Then he picked up his book and tried to lose himself in it. It didn't work.

Two hours later and he had tried everything from pacing his room, reading, traipsing downstairs to the fridge to find a snack, counting the clouds out his window, and re-making his bed.

Then, the welcome sound of a beak on his window sent him flying across the room. He flung open the sill and let the bird in, grabbing a whole handful of owl treats before untying the message.

It was only a couple of lines long, and read:

_Hey Moony, that's great news! Can't wait to see you, owl me the night before you leave your place. Mum and Dad say they'll be pleased to have you. –James._

_Moony, did I ever tell you that, after you, your parents are the best things since sliced bread? I knew you'd convince them. Love Padfoot._

Remus smiled. The days to come just couldn't pass fast enough.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading guys, the next chapter should be up tonight, it's half done already. :) I only expect it to be 3 or 4 chapters long, and it should be up pretty quickly. Review are so greatly appreciated! Id love to hear your ideas for the story. So review and I'll love you for life. *hug*<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The day after the full, Remus woke in his little bedroom with a dull ache in his head and his skin covered in the usual scratches and wounds. His mother was sitting beside the bed, and she smiled at him and handed him a mug of hot chocolate. He sat up, feeling utterly lousy, but then remembered where he would be this time tomorrow. In Sirius' arms, he hoped.

It took a lot of forced smiles and pretending not to ache all over to get his parents to even consider letting him leave for James' the next day. In the end though, they decided that another day of rest at home was needed, and left Remus alone in his room, fuming. He slept the day away, and then awoke the next morning feeling a lot better. He leapt out of bed, and then had to sit down, wincing at the pain. Maybe he wasn't up to leaping quite yet. He ran a hand through his caramel coloured hair, and picked up his wand. 'Thank Merlin for magic,' he thought, as his trunk proceeded to pack itself.

…

The rain pelted down in a frenzy as he waved goodbye to his parents and watched them drive away, and then dragged his suitcase up James' front path. He knocked on the door and stood back, rain soaking his clothes and plastering his hair to his forehead. The door was thrown open and a tall boy with messy black hair flung himself on top of Remus. He held on as if he would never let go, and after a minute of standing in the rain, with Sirius getting just as wet as Remus had been, Remus spoke.

"Um, Siri, do you think we should probably go inside? We're getting a bit wet."

All he got from Sirius in reply was his lips being captured and kissed mercilessly, while the rain soaked them both through. Then there came an amused voice from the doorway. "You could have at least brought him inside before you ravaged him, Padfoot."

Both boys broke apart and turned to see James leaning on the doorframe, smirking at them. "Good to see you Moony. Maybe now Sirius will be a manageable form of hyper with you around."

"Don't count on it," was Sirius' reply, and he sent a wink at Remus.

James stepped back to let the soaking boys in, and levitated Remus' trunk after them. James' mum bustled out into the hallway when she heard them come in, and she enveloped Remus in a hug.

"Remus, it's been almost a year since we last had you here! Merlin, you're soaked! And you, Sirius! What have you been doing!"

None of the boys thought it appropriate to divulge that information, so they just shifted from one foot to the other and tried to appear innocent.

"Well drying spells will only do so much and, in experience, a hot shower is much more comforting. James will take your trunk, dear, and Sirius, you can have a shower after Remus. Off you go!" She waved them out of the hallway and up the stairs, and called, "I'll have food ready when you come back. Peter is being a dear and helping me make scones."

The three Marauders looked at each other, and burst out laughing at the thought of chubby little Peter in an apron.

James levitated the trunk up the stairs and set it outside a door on the landing.

"You and Sirius are sharing the guest bedroom. Peter's in with me. Sirius insisted," James raised his eyebrows at the two soaking wet boys in front of him, and said, as an afterthought, "Just so you know, my parent's room is on the other side of the wall, so please remember silencing charms…"

With that, he trotted back down the stairs to the kitchen, probably to capture photo evidence of Peter in an apron.

Sirius pushed open the bathroom door and ushered Remus in, then shut it behind them. At Remus' confused face he said with a smirk, "You didn't think I'd let you shower alone, did you?"

He turned on the shower jet then moved toward his boyfriend. His lips caught Remus', and a set of hands turned their attention to the buttons on his shirt. Soon they were standing under the hot stream of water, arms wrapped around each other's naked torsos.

Sirius dropped his gaze down Remus' body, and bit his lip. "I missed you, you know. And I came to the conclusion that I am, in fact, truly madly and deeply in love with you."

Remus looked at the boy standing in front of him, his mind replaying the long awaited words that had just come out of his mouth. They were a tad pushed for space in the shower, and Sirius was staring balefully at him through his dripping fringe. It was not exactly how Remus had pictured the revelation, and he found that he had the unexplainable urge to laugh.

"That wasn't very romantic."

Sirius eyes widened, and he bit his lip again. "Sorry?"

Remus couldn't hold it in anymore. He laughed. His arms went around Sirius' waist, and he held him close. Relief flooded through him that he had no need to be jealous, and that Sirius felt exactly the same way about him, as he did about Sirius.

Through his floods of laughter he choked out, "I'm truly madly deeply in love with you, too."

Sirius' lips met the skin on Remus' shoulder, and he murmured, "I never took you to be one of those people that laugh at people's loving sentiments."

Remus pulled back and smiled, "I never took you to be one of those people that gave loving sentiments."

Their lips met, and Remus' hand dropped to stroke Sirius' length, eliciting a groan from Sirius. Sirius returned the favour, and 2 minutes later his head fell back against the shower wall with a strangled cry of, "Oh god, Rem." Remus fell forward so his head rested on Sirius' shoulder, and they stood like that, letting the water wash over them.

Sirius gently put a hand to Remus' waist and murmured, "They'll start getting suspicious soon."

Remus sighed and righted himself, then turned off the water. Stepping out of the shower into the cool air, Sirius grabbed two towels off the rack and wrapped one around his waist, and the other around Remus' shoulders. Then he leant in and kissed him gently, and summoned their clothes off the floor. They only had to fly about a metre, and Remus gave a snort. "Show off."

"You love it," came the cheeky reply.

Once dressed and warm, they descended the stairs and were hit by the smell of baking as they stepped into the kitchen. The sight that met them was one they would certainly not be letting James forget for a very long time.

Peter was sitting at the kitchen table, holding a scone in each hand and chewing. Mrs Potter was standing by the oven, twisting dials and muttering, "Stupid muggle invention." It was James, however, that caught their attention. He was standing as far from the door as possible, arms crossed over his chest and pouting. And he was wearing an apron. And oven mits. And had a teacloth around his head.

Sirius took one look and burst into floods of uncontrollable laughter. Peter just grinned and continued chewing, and Remus' eyebrows almost shot off the top of his forehead. James grimaced and tried to cover more of himself with his gloved hands, and Mrs Potter turned around and smirked. Looking at her, Remus could see which parent James' had gained the unmistakable expression from.

Mrs Potter crossed the kitchen and picked up a plate off the table. "Scone, Remus? They're just out of the oven. I swear to Merlin if the taste of cooking made in a muggle oven didn't far exceed those cooked by magic, I would have incinerated that oven years ago. I'm sure it hates me."

Sirius was still doubled up laughing, and Remus had to control himself to stop from heading the same way. He politely took a scone from the plate, and said tentatively, "Thanks Mrs Potter. Uh… why is James wearing… looking… uh… why?"

The famous smirk found its way back onto Mrs Potter's face, and she replied airily, "He was teasing Peter for wearing an apron, so I thought he might like to see how it feels. I think he looks rather dashing."

All eyes went to the far corner of the kitchen, and James' face turned from an embarrassed red, to a mortified almost purple. "She's charmed them so I can't take them off. Believe me, I've tried."

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at him and said, "Oh I don't know James, I'd leave them on. I'm sure Evans would find it very becoming."

If Mrs Potter heard or wondered who 'Evans' was, she didn't say anything, and they all sat down at the table. After a few minutes of watching James struggle to eat with the oven mits on, Mrs Potter took pity on him and removed the charms. James had them off in a heartbeat, and threw the mits, apron and tea towl across the room. "I am so glad I was born a male," was his only comment. The others just laughed.

As they sat talking at the table, the slightly sick feeling was returning to Remus' stomach. James and Sirius would elbow each other at every second word, and stories of their 'adventures' from the past week were brought up at every possible moment. Remus knew it was silly, but he couldn't help but feel a little left out again. When Mrs Potter's back was turned, James whispered to Sirius, "Wanna try for a successful hijack of the neighbour's motorbike again soon?"

Sirius nodded enthusiastically, and then looked at Remus. James then added as an afterthought, "Rem can come too, if he likes." It was nice to be included, but he couldn't help feeling like he'd only be intruding. He looked at the chubby blonde boy sitting across the table from him, happily spreading jam on his fifth scone, and looking quite contentedly oblivious. 'Sometimes I envy Peter,' thought Remus.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading this far :) Next part will be up possibly tomorrow, depends when I next find myself bored or without something productive to do. Although this could be considered a lot more productive than half the stuff I have to do ;) But anyway, reviews are greatly appreciated, and I also hereby dedicate this chapter to Harriet, as she has just discovered that it was me writing these all along. :L Love to all who read and review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) Toodles!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

After a quiet evening of playing cards and drinking hot chocolate in the living room, with a fire roaring in the grate and the rain still pelting down outside, Remus had almost lost that churning feeling in his stomach. The fact that Sirius' arm didn't leave Remus' waist through the whole game of cards, and every time he got up to get a biscuit or shut the door to stop the draught, Sirius eyes followed him and gave him his best puppy dog stare until he sat down again.

When Mrs Potter came into the room to announce she was going to bed, Sirius quickly made it look like he was reaching for a cushion, and not cuddling Remus. If Mrs Potter suspected anything, she didn't show it, and calmly announced that she and her husband were going to bed, and if the boys wanted any more to eat they were welcome to it. As she left the room, James turned a pair of excited eyes toward Sirius and nodded. Sirius, seeming to understand James' pathetic excuse for a code, nodded back. Remus looked from one to the other, and then to Peter, who shrugged and started to re-shuffled the deck of cards.

Remus already had a fair idea of what they were planning to do, and he was pretty sure it involved sneaking out of the house, breaking the law of some sort and possibly putting themselves in danger just for the fun of it. He had been trying to put it out of his mind since that morning, and had been rather successful.

Sighing, he slumped down into the couch cushions. That evening had been going so well, and then one look went and ruined it. He was sick of Sirius and James having all the fun, going on adventures without him and acting as though they were in their own secret society of rule breaking. It wasn't fair, and Remus had had enough. Sirius looked at him and nudged his side. "What's up with you, Moons?"

Remus just sniffed and shrugged, not in the mood to explain anything to Sirius. Without actually doing anything intentionally, Sirius had managed to annoy Remus more than he knew was possible, and Remus didn't think that any amount of explaining would make him understand why. Hell, not even Remus quite knew why, and that was what worried Remus most. Ignoring Sirius' slightly hurt look, Remus pushed himself up off the couch and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Sirius' slightly plaintive voice caught him off guard, and he turned and said as casually as he could, "I thought I'd unpack before we go to bed. Just so the room isn't a mess…" he trailed off when he saw Sirius was no longer listening. Instead he had turned to look at James who was whispering something in his ear. Remus took his opportunity and slipped out of the room.

Upstairs, he pushed open the door to the spare room and sat down on one of the single beds. Unpacking was the least of his worries, but he didn't think he could stay in the same room as Sirius without snapping at him or saying something he'd regret.

He was only alone for about five minutes. Sirius pushed the door to their room open and flopped on to his own bed. Remus didn't say anything. Sirius sat up. Remus continued to stare at the opposite wall, silent. Sirius clicked his tongue and swung his feet against the bed. Remus looked the other way.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Remus, what!"

Sirius' outburst snapped something in Remus, and he swung around to face the other boy.

"What do you mean, what?"

"I mean, what have I done this time?" Sirius words stung a little. Why did he always assume it was something to do with him?

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Sirius, contrary to popular belief."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know full well what it means. Besides, don't you have something illegal and dangerous to plan with James?" He hadn't meant it to come out so accusingly, but now that he'd said it, there was no way Remus could take it back. He was surprised to find he was almost glad.

"Oh so that's the problem is it? You're more than welcome to come, you know! Or don't you approve of our choice of entertainment for the evening?" Sirius' words were mocking, and the tone in itself was enough to cause injury.

Their voices had risen, and Sirius remembered that only a wall separated James' parent's room from theirs. He reached for his wand and was surprised when Remus cowered back against the bed. A lump found its way into Sirius' throat, and he said quietly, "I'm only putting up a silencing charm, Rem. James' parents…"

But Remus turned around on the bed, his back to Sirius. According to Remus, this debate was over.

Sirius let his wand arm fall, and quietly left the room.

…

Remus lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been half an hour since the not-so-silent footsteps of James and Sirius leaving their room had passed his door, and by now they were probably in the middle of their plan to "borrow" the neighbour's motorbike. Remus almost entirely blamed Sirius, as anything involving motorbikes was surely his idea. Lying on his bed, fully clothed, in the dark, was not as much fun as it had seemed a few minutes ago. That was saying something, as even a few minutes ago it hadn't sounded like much fun at all.

Remus sat up and reached for his wand on the bedside table. "Lumos," he whispered, and then carefully made his way across the room. He pushed open the door and tiptoed down the hall to James' and Peter's room. The door was ajar, and through it he could see Peter curled up on the camp bed, reading. He gently pushed open the door and went in.

Peter jumped and sat up. "Remus. Hi." He sounded almost a little frightened, and Remus hastened to give him a small smile, and sat down opposite him on James' bed.

"You're not mad still, are you?" Peter still sounded a little wary, and Remus sighed.

"No, I'm not. But what makes you think I was angry in the first place?"

Peter had the decency to look a little guilty, before mumbling, "Me and James… outside the door… didn't mean to hear, you were rather loud…"

Remus didn't need to hear the full sentence to get the gist of what Peter was admitting to. He lay back on the bed with a groan. Peter looked up with an apologetic expression.

"We honestly didn't mean to intrude or anything… You sounded really angry, Rem. Like, really angry."

Remus looked up at Peter, who was fidgeting with his sleeve and looking at his knees. Remus sat back up, figuring that he could confide in worse people than Peter. "I wasn't angry, as such, just annoyed. And a bit upset. And by the end of it I guess I was angry."

"Why?" Peter's question should have been an easy one, but Remus didn't actually have an answer for it.

"I… I don't know. I'm just tired of Sirius being so reckless, going off and doing things with James all the time. I'm worried that he'll get in trouble. He never thinks ahead and Merlin knows what they're getting up to…"

He trailed off when he caught sight of Peter's face.

"What!"

Peter just looked away and then said quietly, "It sounds like you're jealous."

There was a long silence.

"You know… maybe I am." Admitting it hadn't been that bad, thought Remus. Maybe Peter should become a counsellor.

"He loves you, Moony. Sirius does, I mean. He loves you, not James."

Peter said it with such childlike innocence that Remus had to smile. "I know he does. But still. It would be nice to be included…"

Peter sighed. "I know how you feel there. They were talking earlier, just after you'd gone upstairs and they thought I was in the kitchen. James said, 'Shall we take Moony and Wormtail?' And Sirius said, 'Maybe not Peter. And definitely not Remus.'"

And suddenly, the feeling was back. Worse than ever.

Remus choked back the lump in his throat and got up off the bed. Peter put a hand out to stop him. "I didn't mean to tell you that! I'm sorry Rem, don't get mad at Sirius because of me, it just came out…"

Remus turned back to the bed and gave Peter a small smile. "I won't bring you into it, Pete. But thank you. For listening and… stuff."

Peter looked relieved and picked up his book again, and Remus slipped back out into the hallway. Remus took back his revelation about Peter becoming a counsellor.

Then his thoughts turned back to Sirius. How could he? Why would Sirius just flat out refuse to let him come? He knew sleep would be impossible, and casting a quick _Tempus_ told him it was almost a half hour past midnight.

Food. Chocolate in particular. In times of trouble, that always seemed to help. So, holding his wand aloft, he softly descended the stairs.

…

The kitchen door was ajar, and a soft light spilled through the gap. Remus pushed it open lightly and stepped into the warm kitchen, and let out a gasp.

Sitting at the table, wearing a dressing-gown and blue fluffy slippers, was Mrs Potter. It was too late for Remus to just slip back through the door, and to his amazement, Mrs Potter didn't even look cross. In fact, she was smiling at him.

"Hello Remus. Would you like a hot chocolate?"

Remus stood gaping, and then remembered himself. "Y-yes. Please. Hot chocolate would be lovely."

Mrs Potter stood up and busied herself at the counter. "Sit down, love."

Remus did so, and was soon handed a steaming mug of warm, chocolaty goodness.

"Can't sleep?" Mrs Potter's voice was gentle and knowing as she sat down opposite him, and Remus had the feeling she knew more than she was letting on.

"Something like that." Remus admitted. "You too?"

A small smile appeared on the woman's lips, and she replied, "I thought I'd stay up to make sure James and Sirius got in alright."

Remus swallowed. "You… you know about that?"

A small laugh escaped her lips and Mrs Potter said, "Of course. Mothers know everything."

Taking a small sip of his hot chocolate, Remus wondered if she knew anything about his own evening. Later Remus would wonder if she was, in fact, a Legimens, because her next question was, "Did you resolve things between Sirius and yourself? I sense it was a little more than a lover's tiff."

Remus didn't quite know any other way to answer that than with the truth. "No. He left before we could come to any sort of agreement." And then, "You know about me and Sirius, too?"

Mrs Potter laughed quietly again and said, "Sirius is about as subtle as a flying brick. I knew well before I ever saw the two of you together."

Remus smiled in spite of himself. That was Sirius, alright.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Remus looked into Mrs Potter's face, which held a striking resemblance to that of her son, but contained something softer and decidedly motherly. This, perhaps, is what made Remus spill the whole story of the letters, his jealousy, the feeling left out of everything, and his confusion at feeling that way. The whole time Mrs Potter sat silent, just listening.

When he'd finished, she took a long breath and then let it out. "Remus, it's normal to be jealous. You only started feeling this way, though, when Sirius came to stay here?" Remus nodded. "Do you think it was because you would rather Sirius had come to you than James?" Remus, after a moment's hesitation, nodded again. "That, I can completely understand. But you should know that Sirius has not gone a day without mentioning how much he misses you, or how much he wishes you were here. I think that alone says more than any advice I can offer."

Remus sighed and nodded. "Thank you, Mrs Potter. For listening and understanding."

"You're welcome, Remus. I can tell you're still far from satisfied, but I think Sirius must be the one to set them right, mustn't he." For what seemed like the hundredth time that evening, Remus nodded, even though it wasn't strictly a question. Mrs Potter had a way of seeing right through him, he thought.

Getting up from the table, Remus put his empty mug by the sink. Mrs Potter smiled at him and said, "See you in the morning, Remus. Sleep well. Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

Remus chuckled and replied, "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Goodnight, Mrs Potter."

With that, he slipped out of the kitchen and back up the stairs. Peter's light was off, so he pushed open his own door, undressed, and climbed into bed. With a sigh, he turned over and drifted off into sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the wait everyone, but this chapter took a little longer to write, and for the past couple of days I just wasn't in a writing mood. But I was tonight, so here it is! :) This chapter is for<strong>_ HermioneGrangerisME_**, as I promised her something to read when she gets back! :) Hope you enjoyed it, reviews are much appreciated (hint hint) ;) Next one will be up... as soon as I can, which will be sometime this week! School goes back tomorrow, you see. :( *cry* So yes, thank you for all the positive comments on it! It's you that made me keep writing. More soon, promise. (And yes, things get decidedly better for Remus. ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

It was the trying-to-be-quiet-but-failing opening of the bedroom door that woke Remus. The door was half open, and, still fuzzy from sleep, his brain could make out the whispered voices of James and Sirius. Then a door opened further down the hall and James' voice disappeared, and his own door was pushed open just enough for a person to slip through.

Sirius made his way across the room in what Remus could only imagine was his attempt at sneakiness. First he shut the door with a noisy click, and then walked into the corner of his own bed, followed by a quiet swear word that, had Remus been awake, he would have scolded him for. Instead he just rolled his eyes. Sirius climbed over his own bed and then sat on the edge of it, his silhouette visible in the half-light. After a couple of seconds, he stood up and stepped towards Remus' bed. Kneeling down beside it, Sirius laid a tentative hand on the quilt and whispered, "Rem, are you awake?"

Remus debated feigning sleep just to avoid the inevitable conversation that was sure to follow his "waking up." But he knew deep down that doing that would solve nothing, so he took a deep breath and replied softly, "Yeah, I'm awake."

Sirius moved his hand up to stroke Remus' cheek, but Remus caught it before it got there, holding it by the wrist and said, "I'm sorry for yelling earlier."

Sirius sighed. "Me too, Rem. And technically you weren't yelling. Only almost."

"Still, I am sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, and I took it out on you."

"Well it's done now, and if you're willing to forgive me, I'll forgive you."

"Deal." Remus sat up in bed and reached for the bedside lamp, flicking it on. The soft light filled the room and allowed him to see Sirius properly. He was kneeling beside the bed, dark eyes soft and hair perfect as always. He was wearing his slightly faded leather jacket that he'd acquired, partly because he'd liked it and partly because it annoyed his parents, and giving Remus the full on puppy dog eyes. Against his will Remus found himself biting his lip to hide a smile. He reached down and grabbed Sirius' jacket collar and hauled him up onto the bed. Sirius complied and then sat facing him.

"So, do you want to talk about whatever made you so upset?"

"Is this one of those questions that isn't actually a question, and you're going to make me talk about it anyway?"

"I don't know, was that?"

Remus sighed. "Seriously, Sirius," and then stopped as Sirius gave a snort of laughter at his horrible pun. Instead of finishing that sentence, Remus leant forward and pressed his lips to Sirius' and all thoughts of discussion were forgotten as their lips moved together. After a couple of minutes, Sirius moved his kisses to the section of Remus' neck exposed above the dip of the old t-shirt he wore to bed. Remus supressed a groan and reached blindly for his wand, and muttered a silencing charm. Better safe than sorry, he thought.

As Sirius' kisses turned into tongue swirling and gentle biting, Remus said spoke softly.

"I was jealous."

Sirius sat up suddenly and looked at the boy underneath him. An expression of slight amusement and genuine bewilderment lined his face, and he said, "Jealous? Of who?"

"Well, James I suppose…" Remus trailed off, unsure as to whether Sirius would understand.

"But why would you be jealous of James? It's you I love, Rem. You don't honestly think there's anything between me and James do you? I would have thought the way he chases Evans would be enough of a clue to his sexuality…"

Remus struggled to sit up, and Sirius moved off his legs so he could. Leaning back against the wall, Remus debated whether he made the right decision even bringing it back up. Too late now, he thought.

"I was jealous because you went to James, not me, and because all week I've been getting letters about how much fun you two were having, and it made me all the more annoyed that I couldn't see you." Sirius opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it again as Remus continued, "Let me finish. Look, I know it's hardly your fault, but you asked so I'm telling you. I'm jealous of anyone who gets to spend time with you, Sirius, and I can't help it. Feel free to laugh at me or think it's silly, but that's the way it is. Sorry."

Sirius just sat there for a few seconds after Remus finished talking, and then let out his breath in a rush.

"Firstly, what makes you think I'd laugh at you? If that's the way you feel, then that's the way you feel. Secondly, I came to James' because it was closer, and because I didn't know how your parents would react to having a homeless 16 year old turn up on their doorstep. Besides the fact that he is in a relationship with their son. Thirdly, did you keep the letters I sent you?"

Remus wrinkled his brow in confusion. "Yeah, I kept them. They're in the bottom of my trunk actually. I… I didn't want my parents finding them while I was gone."

"Perfect. Get them out."

Remus, still puzzled, slid out of bed and opened his trunk. Rummaging around in the bottom for a few seconds, he pulled the handful of letters out. Then, with cold feet and still a little confused, he sat back down on the bed and drew his knees up to his chest in the chilly night air.

Sirius held out his hand and Remus gave him the letters. Unfolding it, Sirius began to read aloud.

_Remus,_

_I am just writing to you to tell you I_

_miss you a lot and wish you were here. James' place is great, but it's not the same without_

_you. It's almost midnight, I know, but I can't sleep and there is nothing I would _

_like better than to change into Padfoot and go for a bit of a walk. That would be_

_crazy though, since James' parents would surely notice a strange dog walking around the house._

_And anyway, it wouldn't be the same with just me. Peter is coming to stay for_

_the _

_next week or so. Wish your parents could give you up for at least a few days, it's about_

_time the Maurauders got back together!_

_I can_

_see into the neighbour's garage from my window, and there is a smashing motorbike there!_

_You probably wouldn't approve of my "borrowing it" though, so I won't (yet)!_

_I think James wants to go flying tomorrow, lucky I brought my broom. I_

_will let you know how it goes. Argh I wish I could_

_kiss you right now, I do miss you Rem. But I said that, didn't I. Sorry if this letter's starting to bore_

_you, cut me some slack, it's late! _

_So anyway, this was only meant to be a short note, I need sleep and it's_

_hard enough waking up at a decent time as it is! I hope _

_you'll be awake to get this. You'll probably _

_be asleep. The holidays are a nice change from the_

_breathless rushing around we do at school. (Well, you anyway. We others don't bother.) Good thing_

_for us that you do though, otherwise we'd all fail every class! Ooh, _

_a moth just flew into my eye! That hurt… Maybe that's telling me to go to bed. Maybe next_

_week you can come and see us? _

_I_

_Love _

_You Moony, write soon. Xxx_

Remus listened to Sirius read, and the reason for it was becoming no clearer. "Is there something I'm missing?"

Sirius smiled and handed the letter back.

"Did you notice my interesting spacing of words?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "I did actually. Was that from lack of sleep or were you just trying to be creative?"

"Try reading the first word of every line." Sirius said with a small smirk.

As Remus read through the letter, the meaning became more apparent. Then he picked up the next letter and read that too. After reading first word in every sentence in four of the letters, he put them back on the bed and looked up at Sirius, who was wrapping and unwrapping one corner of the sheet around his finger. His eyes looked up into Remus' and he grinned.

"Creative, right?"

Then Remus laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed, because only Sirius would be both clever enough to put a code into a letter, and dumb enough to not explain the code beforehand. Sirius just looked at Remus laughing, and shook his head, smiling.

"Remus, you're a mess. One minute you're so down it's frightening, and then you're back to laughing at my romantic revelations? Charming, that is." When Remus gave no reply, Sirius leaned forward and grabbed the other boy's wrists, pulling him into a kiss. Remus gave in easily and soon they were lying back on the bed, Sirius propped up on his elbows above the sandy haired boy. Remus had stopped laughing, and then when Sirius pulled away he seemed to remember something.

"Sirius, one more thing. Peter said he heard you and Prongs talking earlier this evening, and when James asked whether you should take me and Peter, you said, "Maybe not Peter, and definitely not Remus. Why?"

Sirius swallowed and gazed down at the hurt looking boy under him. "It's going to sound silly."

"And mine didn't?"

Sirius sighed.

"Because, Remus, you're far too special to be out stealing motorbikes at one in the morning."

"Special?"

"Yes, special. It's ok for me and James, because it won't matter if we get hurt, or get into trouble. Peter, I said no to because he would merely get in the way. No offence to him of course, but you know it's true. You, however, I can't allow it. There is no way my Moony is to be out riding motorbikes in the dead of night, it is far too dangerous." His voice had put on a strict, almost parental tone, and Remus would have found it utterly hilarious if the situation had been different.

Still, he was relieved to know the reason, however weird, behind Sirius' words, and found himself smiling up at the dark-haired boy.

"So it's ok for you and James, but not for me?"

"That's right."

"That doesn't seem very fair."

"No, but life isn't fair."

"Have you ever thought that I might feel the same way about you? Who says I like it when you do something as dangerous, not to mention completely illegal, as that?"

"I… no. I didn't think of that. But it's different. I'm me, and you're you. You're… delicate."

Remus couldn't hold in the snort that escaped him at Sirius' use of 'delicate.'

"Thanks, Pads. Much appreciated."

"You're welcome, Rem. And you know that's why I love you, right? Because you're you, and I'm me. And were made for each other."

And with that, he leant down and kissed Remus, partly because he couldn't stand another minute of wasted time not kissing, and partly just to shut him up.

Soon the kissing turned to not very subtle groping by Sirius, and soft moans of delight from Remus. Remus' pajama top found itself thrown to the floor, and Sirius' leather jacket and t-shirt soon followed. Remus' pants were yanked down and thrown aside, and Sirius' were discarded (a little more gently as it was Remus doing the discarding) to the other side of the room.

As Sirius' hand dropped to stroke Remus' length, Remus wove his hands into the other boy's hair and sucked on his neck. After about a minute of teasing and pulling, Remus was breathing hard and arching into Sirius' hand. He was close, but then, just as quickly as he had started, Sirius took his hand away and sat up. Remus gave a little whimper at the loss of contact and choked out, "Sirius, why'd you stop?"

But Sirius had picked his up wand from the floor and muttered, "Accio jar." A small jar of something freed itself from Sirius' bedside table drawer and hurtled through the air towards the bed. Sirius caught it deftly and unscrewed the cap. Remus, brain still fuzzy from the previous activities, watched in bemusement as Sirius, still holding the jar, crawled back up the bed toward him. Eyes locked with Remus', Sirius said in a voice barely bigger than a whisper, "Do you trust me?"

Remus gulped and nodded, "I trust you."

"Good. Now bend your knees up."

"What? Why?" The last word came out as more of a squeak, as Sirius dipped one finger into the jar and then moved it down to circle a place Remus wasn't expecting. Sirius was leaning forward over him, his breath warm on Remus' shoulder. Remus was still painfully hard, and had to admit that the tiny circles Sirius was drawing over his entrance felt deliciously good.

Then Sirius spoke. "Rem, before, when we were fighting and I went to pick up my wand, you didn't think I would actually hurt you, did you?"

Remus, still immersed in waves of gentle pleasure, opened his previously closed eyes and look up at Sirius.

"I-I… no. It was just a reflex. We were fighting and I was mad and upset and… No Sirius, I don't think you'd ever hurt me on purpose."

"Good. Believe it, because it's true. I swear to it."

Remus closed his eyes again and gave a gentle moan of pleasure, and then Sirius asked again, "So do you trust me?"

"I already answered that one. Of course I do."

"Good, which means you won't mind me doing this…"

Gently he slipped the finger that had previously been circling Remus' entrance, inside him. Remus tensed and gave a little yelp of pain, and then tried to sit up. Sirius put his other hand on Remus' shoulder, holding him down. "Calm down, does it really hurt that much?"

Remus tried to look annoyed, but it was hard when Sirius' unexpected movement was bringing him so much pleasure. "It doesn't hurt anymore, but next time it would be nice to have some warning!"

"I did! I asked whether you trusted me!"

"Yeah, but just because I trust you doesn't mean you can just shove your fingers inside of me!"

"I don't see you minding too much really, if that's anything to do by." Sirius smiled cheekily at him and then looked down at Remus' rapidly re-hardening length.

"I didn't say I minded, but you could have asked."

Sirius laughed out loud. "Oh Rem, you make it sound like I popped over for a cup of tea uninvited! It's called spontaneity, and it's meant to be romantic."

Remus didn't reply, and then after a moment Sirius said, in his most polite voice, "Remus, would you mind awfully if I added another finger?"

This time Remus laughed, and Sirius didn't wait for an answer before sliding another finger in. Remus sucked in his breath as Sirius hit a spot inside of him that made his toes curl, and didn't complain when Sirius added a third finger. After only a few more strokes or Sirius' fingers, Remus let out a moan. "Ok, ok, you can stop with the teasing, please Sirius."

"Please Sirius, what?"

"You know exactly what, and I know you want it to, so just do it already. Please."

The last 'please' clicked something in Sirius. He sounded so helpless and longing, lying there on the bed under him. Sirius withdrew his hand, lined himself up and pushed in.

Remus cried out and bit down on his lip as he entered, and Sirius stopped, moving a hand to stroke Remus' cheek and shoulder. He pushed in a little more, and Remus squeezed his eyes shut. Sirius murmured, "Ok?"

Remus just nodded, and Sirius pushed in fully. After holding it for a couple of seconds, he pulled back, and then thrust in again. This time Remus moaned and grabbed for the sheets, bunching them in his hands as Sirius thrust in over and over again, talking softly to him the whole time.

"I love you…Promise me you'll never feel jealous again... I love you, you're perfect and beautiful and I'm yours, fully yours."

Remus opened his eyes again and murmured, "Mine."

"Yes, yours. Completely yours."

And those words pushed Remus over the edge and he came, arching his back and tensing around Sirius, causing him to follow suit.

Sirius collapsed on top of the other boy, both of them breathing hard, and Sirius kissed the spot just behind Remus' ear where his neck met his shoulder. He tasted sweet and salty, and still held the faint smell of orange scented bath soap, and something that was wholly and decidedly Remus. And in that moment, neither Sirius nor Remus could have been happier.

…

The next morning, James and Peter were sitting at the table eating toast when a decidedly smug-looking Sirius strutted into the kitchen. He grabbed a piece of toast out of the toaster and pulled out a chair, sitting down heavily and crossing his legs at the ankles. He smeared jam onto the toast and bit into it, and then seemed to realise that James and Peter were staring at him.

"What!"

James and Peter just looked at each other, and Peter shrugged and went back to his toast. James gave Sirius a suspicious look and was then distracted by Remus' arrival to the kitchen. He came over to the table and stopped when he caught the other boys watching him. Then Peter voiced his query.

"Remus, why are you walking funny?"

Remus blushed scarlet and ducked his head. "I'm not."

James joined in. "Yeah, you are."

"I'm just… sore."

"Sore from what?" Peter, always slightly behind the rest, looked at Remus with a puzzled expression. James, however, looked from Sirius to Remus and back to Sirius, and then seemed to put 2 and 2 together.

"Oh my god…" Slapping a hand to his forehead, James put his half eaten toast down on his plate and rubbed his eyes. "Peter, do you want to finish my toast?"

Peter, still not getting it, gleefully picked up the piece of toast and shoved a giant bite into his mouth. Then, chewing, he looked carefully from Sirius to Remus and back again.

The uneaten piece of toast dropped from his hand and landed, jammy side down on the table. Remus, always the neat freak quickly leaned forward and picked it up, placing it on Peter's plate.

Peter swallowed his mouthful. "Oooooh. I get it now."

Sirius burst out laughing, James dropped his head onto his arms on the table top, and Peter picked up the piece of toast. Remus just shook his head.

Sometimes, he thought, he really did love his friends.

* * *

><p><strong>So that's it! :) I'm a bit sad to be finished, and it was only 4 chapters (even if they did get steadily longer and longer!) But yes, as you can see things worked out rather well for Remus, despite the soreness the next day ;) Thank you for reading right to the end, and thank you to those who reviewed! It means a lot :) *hugs for you* Let me know what you thought of the ending, I hope I wrapped it up ok! I'll start something new soon, keep an eye out for it! Over and out xx -K<strong>


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